[OT] Top Rev headlines from the time warp
J. Landman Gay
jacque at hyperactivesw.com
Thu Aug 19 16:47:18 CDT 2010
Since there appears to be some interest, I brought these back with me
from my last trip. I apologize for the lack of dates, I don't know
exactly when I was because there's a bug in the chronometer. Also, my
socks have gone missing.
1. Google's competitor, Giggle, is rapidly gaining momentum as the top
search engine of choice. Because it only returns hits on light-hearted,
amusing content, it has proven immensely popular. Companies are gaming
the system by filling metatags with jokes and "laugh" words. Rev has
changed its marketing focus to "The IDE that fills you with joy" and is
showing regularly in the top ten results.
2. A Rev customer has ignited a flame war in the Rev Virtual Meeting
Rooms, berating the company for not fully complying with current
holographic standards. While trying to walk around inside his datagrid
he got entrapped by a nasty case of self-induced recursion in a
poorly-calculated formula cell. He claims RR should have forseen the
error and dumped him out. In actuality that is exactly what happened,
but since he had programmed the exit clause as a modal escape hatch, he
couldn't hit the default button. Room members are divided on whether he
should be left in the cell until his anger subsides, or whether someone
should try to access him remotely.
3. The now-leaking stormy internet cloud is being updated and replaced
by the Universal Grid, which allows direct connections via embedded
bio-ports. RR is reworking its IDE to allow access to this embeddable
biosystem. They warn that there are still issues to work out,
particularly whether or not the human navel is really a button.
4. Due to recent changes in international law, restrictions on the
amount of realism allowed in holographic human projections have caused
issues for many companies. RunRev has been forced to remove the native
human feature set originally planned for its products. However, RR
cannot, and does not intend to, prevent its users from assembling
realistic human projections by use of carefully crafted skins.
5. RunRev re-issued a strongly-worded statement again today, warning
that its libTeleport library is still in early alpha and should not,
under any circumstances, be used for production work. Last week two
customers disappeared for an undetermined length of time and were later
found in the CEO's sock drawer wearing each other's clothing. The socks
were inexplicably missing. One long-time user commented, "It's just
uncanny. I've been with RR since the beginning, and the disappearing
sock phenomenon was discussed many years ago, yet no one paid any
attention. If you ask me, they deserve what they got." CEO Kevin Miller
has vowed to return the customers to their homes immediately when the
technology reaches beta.
...more when I get there.
Jacqueline Landman Gay | jacque at hyperactivesw.com
HyperActive Software | http://www.hyperactivesw.com
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