[OT] Top Rev headlines from the time warp

J. Landman Gay jacque at hyperactivesw.com
Thu Aug 19 17:47:18 EDT 2010


Since there appears to be some interest, I brought these back with me 
from my last trip. I apologize for the lack of dates, I don't know 
exactly when I was because there's a bug in the chronometer. Also, my 
socks have gone missing.

1. Google's competitor, Giggle, is rapidly gaining momentum as the top 
search engine of choice. Because it only returns hits on light-hearted, 
amusing content, it has proven immensely popular. Companies are gaming 
the system by filling metatags with jokes and "laugh" words. Rev has 
changed its marketing focus to "The IDE that fills you with joy" and is 
showing regularly in the top ten results.

2. A Rev customer has ignited a flame war in the Rev Virtual Meeting 
Rooms, berating the company for not fully complying with current 
holographic standards. While trying to walk around inside his datagrid 
he got entrapped by a nasty case of self-induced recursion in a 
poorly-calculated formula cell. He claims RR should have forseen the 
error and dumped him out. In actuality that is exactly what happened, 
but since he had programmed the exit clause as a modal escape hatch, he 
couldn't hit the default button. Room members are divided on whether he 
should be left in the cell until his anger subsides, or whether someone 
should try to access him remotely.

3. The now-leaking stormy internet cloud is being updated and replaced 
by the Universal Grid, which allows direct connections via embedded 
bio-ports. RR is reworking its IDE to allow access to this embeddable 
biosystem. They warn that there are still issues to work out, 
particularly whether or not the human navel is really a button.

4. Due to recent changes in international law, restrictions on the 
amount of realism allowed in holographic human projections have caused 
issues for many companies. RunRev has been forced to remove the native 
human feature set originally planned for its products. However, RR 
cannot, and does not intend to, prevent its users from assembling 
realistic human projections by use of carefully crafted skins.

5. RunRev re-issued a strongly-worded statement again today, warning 
that its libTeleport library is still in early alpha and should not, 
under any circumstances, be used for production work. Last week two 
customers disappeared for an undetermined length of time and were later 
found in the CEO's sock drawer wearing each other's clothing. The socks 
were inexplicably missing. One long-time user commented, "It's just 
uncanny. I've been with RR since the beginning, and the disappearing 
sock phenomenon was discussed many years ago, yet no one paid any 
attention. If you ask me, they deserve what they got." CEO Kevin Miller 
has vowed to return the customers to their homes immediately when the 
technology reaches beta.


...more when I get there.

-- 
Jacqueline Landman Gay         |     jacque at hyperactivesw.com
HyperActive Software           |     http://www.hyperactivesw.com



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