Neglectful & Strict

Mathewson richmond at
Fri Dec 16 01:55:22 EST 2005

Mark Smith wrote:

"You seem to suggest that RR is both too neglectful of the
list and,  
at the same time, too strict in it's moderation of same."


Over the last while the use-list has looked rather like a
playroom where the 'children' (and this should not be taken
as offensive) have got on with their 'thing' unobstructed
by adults; no ground rules, nothing except the modus
operandi that the children have negotiated between
themselves. As some of the children began to have doubts
about the way things were progressing one of them asked
Mummy for an opinion. Mummy then came down on the children
in a way that would seem to indicate that their
self-negotiated rules had no value at all as Mummy (in
consultation with Daddy and various Uncles and Aunties) set
the rules without paying heed to the wants of the children.

What would be the end-result in that playroom? Well, once
the 'hormones of adolescence' went to work there would be
an outbreak of "spotty teenagerism" with the spottiest
leaving home and setting up home in tree-houses and
suchlike - yet still desperate for parental approval. With
children (even if with no-one else) inconsistency breeds
distrust; and children who spot inconsistency in parental
behaviour get "all mixed up".

Just at present, I am "all mixed up": however, my
tree-house is quite roomy and you are welcome to join me
there any time you like!

sincerely, Richmond Mathewson
See Mathewson's software at:
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